Day Seventy-Four: Strive for Perfection

From the time that I was very young, I was taught to try my best at everything. I was taught that to give your all at everything you do means to live your best life, and take advantage of your full potential. I was taught to get the best I can, too: the best opportunities, that is. But the more I learn about life, I wonder how hard I should try for the best opportunities in life. At what point are we supposed to sacrifice something that's good, and try for something better?

There are plenty of people in the world who live in mediocre relationships, and have mediocre or somewhat good jobs. They're not 100% happy in their relationships, or maybe they like their jobs for the most part, but not all the time. Is it more important to look for a better opportunity, and search for a job that makes you 100% happy all the time? Although it's extremely difficult, a lot of people live their lives like that, striving to be 100% happy. But is it really possible? What's wrong with being 80% happy, or mostly happy? Is it possible for anyone to be 100% happy with the person they're with, all the time?

Call me pessimistic, but I don't think so. I don't think it's really possible to be 100% happy with every situation you're in. A lot of people may like their jobs, but they don't like certain things about it, or certain situations that arise in their jobs. And a lot of people may really love the person they're with, but almost everybody gets annoyed with the person they're with sometimes, or not like certain things about their partner.

So maybe, it's okay to have a life with flaws. A wise person told me not to long ago that if you're happy in the moment, it doesn't really make a difference to try to plan out your future. If you're mostly happy, and mostly content, why give up something perfectly good in your life because something better might come along? I don't think you should.

Day Sixty-Seven: We Can't Save the World

I have been fortunate enough in life to not have to see much tragedy. I've seen some: a boy I went to high school with died in a car crash, I've known people who had terrible childhoods. But I've never actually seen real tragedy and sadness up close. I've been lucky enough to not lose anyone who didn't die of old age, or watch a pet die of the same. But not long ago, I saw real tragedy occur as close to me as I ever had.

Sometimes, situations can't be helped. But to think that somehow in the process of watching something innocent and sad happen to an undeserving being, we could have done something to prevent it from happening, it's a thought that can't be easily pushed away. Could I have done something better? What about the situation could I have changed? And once we realize that there may not have been anything we could do to change the outcome, we still feel guilty. And that's where I am now.

And it's terrible. It's difficult. And I don't know what to say about it.