I have been fortunate enough in life to not have to see much tragedy. I've seen some: a boy I went to high school with died in a car crash, I've known people who had terrible childhoods. But I've never actually seen real tragedy and sadness up close. I've been lucky enough to not lose anyone who didn't die of old age, or watch a pet die of the same. But not long ago, I saw real tragedy occur as close to me as I ever had.
Sometimes, situations can't be helped. But to think that somehow in the process of watching something innocent and sad happen to an undeserving being, we could have done something to prevent it from happening, it's a thought that can't be easily pushed away. Could I have done something better? What about the situation could I have changed? And once we realize that there may not have been anything we could do to change the outcome, we still feel guilty. And that's where I am now.
And it's terrible. It's difficult. And I don't know what to say about it.
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