Day Seventy-Three: March of the Irish

Quite quickly, that joyous time of year when green adorns the doors, windows, and clothing of every person of Irish heritage approaches. We’ll cook up our ham and cabbage and nosh on Irish Potatoes. But many people, more likely those who don’t work on Thursdays (but many who do) will engage in that raucous activity that the Irish are so well-known for: drinking.


There will be parties, bar crawls, various types of “fests”, and more Guinness than I would ever be able to stand. People of 100% Italian heritage will put on plastic green beads and stumble drunkenly with pints of heavy beers in hand. Because apparently, on St. Patrick’s Day “Everyone is Irish”. Personally, I think this is a load of crap.

I don’t want any misunderstandings here, please. I am not opposed to a holiday that urges people to drink copious amounts of alcohol and bond with others in the fashion of singing and toasting, but why do it at the expense of the poor Irish? I’m not offended by the holiday, I just wonder how it got to be a celebration of drinking and debauchery. I’m about half Irish, yet I have never participated in a St. Patrick’s Day celebration, nor have I ever really had a strong desire to. Sure, it might be fun to go out once, but how would it be unlike any other Saturday night at a bar, except more crowded, and they’d dye the Miller Lite green? It seems like not that great of a time, anyway. It just gives many people an excuse to start drinking at 9 AM.

How the Irish came to be known as heavy drinkers, I will never know, which may be a poor testament to my Irish heritage. Maybe, I should know, but I honestly don’t. Not to say they’re heavy drinkers, but why don’t Italians get a day? Why Chinese-Americans get a day? I guess I’m happy that the Irish get a day, but why is it surrounded by mascots, rainbows, marshmallow cereal, beer, and small plant-life? How did we get so marketable? Ok, so Italians have Little Caesar and Chef Boyardee, which aren’t really great cultural mascots, but really, how did we get stuck with a little man with red hair?

Again, I’m not offended, just interested and slightly amused. Where did these come from? Did the Irish get the cartoon mascots and products because we were, at one point, one of the more populous of the heritages in the United States ? Do they have Lucky Charms over in Ireland ? I’m willing to bet not, but it would be an interesting thing to note.

Well, anyway, Happy St. Patrick’s Day.