Day Thirty-Six: How Much Love is Enough?

From the time us females are little girls in pink dress-up dresses watching Cinderella and The Little Mermaid, we're taught that our Prince is out there somewhere. He might be sailing the open seas, looking for the girl who fits his slipper, or trying to kiss the girl to wake her from her perpetual sleep. But once we hit a certain age (hopefully), we females realize that this is a great story and a wonderful dream to have, but it's also a load of crap. No one, not ourselves, and definitely not our Prince Charming, are perfect. But that doesn't mean we have to take the first Shmo who falls for us and we don't hate, either. 

I read an article linked from MSN.com today about a woman who wrote a book explaining that other women need to settle in order to live the lives they want to live. If they want to be married and have a family, they can't keep looking for Mr. Right. Sometimes, they just need to accept the fact that they love the man they're with, even if they find him a little boring, or a little stubborn and uncompromising. She says, and rightly so, that if a woman waits around for the man they find to be right for them in all regards, they might be waiting forever. Unfortunately, not all women who want husbands and families end up finding the man who is right for them. So, whether they agree with this woman's advice or not, they probably end up settling. 

But at what price is marriage and children to some? Some women really do want to be mothers and to have families more than anything else in their lives. But to live in a marriage that lacks spark and real love and true devotion, why be in a marriage at all? It seems like a pointless and wasted effort, and not a healthy way to live, at all. But honestly, how many women do find the man they think is perfect for them? Don't almost all women compromise in some regard to what they want? If not, we'd be stamping them out in factories rather than choosing men we adore, flaws and all. 

I'm sure this goes the same for men, as well. No woman is perfect, and if they were, how could you grow and change and learn as a couple? There needs to be a little disagreement in order to grow as people and learn to negotiate and love in times of disagreement. We're a sophisticated species -- compromise is pretty important. But where do we draw the line? Nobody wants someone who has none of the qualities they want in a partner, but it's impossible to find the perfect mate, either. I think obviously, the balance lies in the attributes we're willing to compromise on. And if you're lucky, you find someone who's pretty damn great, regardless of being imperfect.