Day Thirty-Two: Sacrifices and Stupid Decisions

After some careful consideration about my life, and a little bit of research, I've given a little bit more thought to this whole pastry chef idea. I've decided that possibly paying $325 for a six-week community introductory pastry course probably wouldn't be an awful idea, but it certainly would be a a significant investment of my money. It's easily half a paycheck, if not more, due to travel costs. Which, now that I mention travel, would be horrific, because of my absolutely refusal to drive in the city and my fear of the subway. So really, it would amount to a train ride to and from, plus about a 20-block walk. Not so much a grand idea. Nor is it a sacrifice I am really willing to make. If I were, I would probably just suck up my whining and creep my automobile through the confusing grid, attempting to avoid people in general.

It's this thought that brings up an interesting point in my mind. If I were to undertake this endeavor, I would absolutely need to make sacrifices of time, money, comfort, and probably several other things I haven't yet factored into my plan. So since this may in fact be a foolhardy effort because the odds of failing are so high, would beginning my path towards sugary goodness include more sacrifices, or more stupid decisions?

Say, for example, that I were to teach myself everything I would need to know about pastry-making or bakery practices, or whatever the hell they are called. And, assuming that I can only learn so much from cookbooks and would need some demonstration, say I take some classes, maybe five to ten. I have now sacrificed spare time, which is perfectly reasonable (since I wouldn't do much else with it anyway aside from read and sleep), and we'll say about $1000. That thousand dollars, while a lot, could very well be a good investment in my future, and if not, at the very least provided me with a good deal of knowledge that I otherwise would not have gained. It's better than wasting it on clothes, vacations, or some other expense that would eventually lose the value I paid for it, either in falling apart, being eaten, or being an experience that would end and leave me only with memories. I would have knowledge that I could potentially use, in various ways, to make back the money I would have spent. So the conclusion would state, that both the time and the money are sacrifices, and not wastes as the result of a stupid decision.

Next, let's assume that ten years after I begin undergoing this process, I want to open a bakery. This is where the sacrifices teeter dangerously on the edge of falling into a pit of horrible filled with lost, stupid decisions. I would need to do several things that would inevitably send my life into a shambles. One, I would need to take out a large loan to rent a space, buy and install equipment, buy supplies, hire and pay at least one employee, and possibly hire an accountant to help me keep my business in order, but that's more of an afterthought. I am now in debt, which is a huge, huge fear of mine. Then, let's say that my business doesn't do so well in the first six months. I am now further in debt, because although the money may not come in steadily, the bills do. And then of course, there's the possibility that I get so far into debt I would need to file for bankruptcy, and it would have all been for nothing. I have now found myself in the Realm of Stupid Decisions. Not to mention that while I ran my small business, I wouldn't have the luxury of days off, moving elsewhere, or vacations, at least not for a long while.

I am not pessimistic in considering this a very real possibility. My business has a real possibility of surviving, as well, but this is a lot more unlikely, given the current state of the economy and the idea that it probably isn't going to get too much better. So what I keep going over and over again in my mind is the sense of failure I could get from spending such time on something and inevitably not gaining anything except a short time of personal career freedom with no boss other than myself, and a lot of headaches over finances. And while there are definitely other routes I could take in making this my profession, I imagine all would require extensive training, apprenticeship or internship, a severe paycut, and a complete and utter waste of the education I already worked so hard to gain. I can't even bear to mention the fact that I would be throwing away any success I've gained, that took me such a long time to find.

What I want, is a hobby that I can turn into a success. But as I'm a strong believer in having a plan or getting nowhere (at least when it comes to my own life and success), I don't know how much of a good idea this is, considering as that is what I would need to do. With great success comes great sacrifice, but what is a sacrifice, and what is a really stupid decision that will probably ruin my life? I guess only time will tell. But in the meantime, I need to open a freakin' cookbook. That's as good a start as any, right? Self-education is about as cheap and stupid-decision free as it gets. Step one: buy a lot of flour.